How do i stop myself from falling into depression all over again?

i'm not sure what to do i feel like im losing myself again and even when i cry it hurts more then anything and when i hear him cry it rips my heart out and i just feel like it's the end of the world. he's in constant pain and things keep going wrong with him. he hurt his arm and they think he might've pulled something in his arm. my thoughts lately have been kinda morbid and it just keeps getting worse. i love my body but i abuse it at times and i cut. i havent in a while but i'm known to relaspe again and again and again